10 of the Worst Places Where Women Have Given Birth
Births frequently come just as unexpected as pregnancies themselves. As hard as medical science may try, babies induce labor on their own schedules with little to no regard for their mother’s needs. The result? Many children who enter into the world in some of the most unexpected – and largely inconvenient! – of places. What follows is a brief overview of a few strong-willed infants who got their start in life playing by their own rules and coming in as they please…which just happen to coincide with their mother’s patronage of ill-equipped, hazardous, unsanitary or just downright awful locations!
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In a Portable Toilet
After 44years on the planet, Candy Michelle Vignari never managed to fully grasp the concept of proper child care. The Cambridge, Maryland woman birthed a baby girl in a portable toilet…and promptly deposited the bundle of joy down with bundles of an entirely different sort. The flagrant disregard for the infant’s health and well-being was discovered when Vignari casually waltzed out of the portable toilet, marinating in blood and afterbirth, and asked a park patron for a cigarette. Also? She made nonchalant mention of her previous activities, as if giving birth and dumping the results alongside other things that exit the body is absolutely normal protocol in places other than Crazy Town. Because the American authorities only allow child abuse and abandonment amongst celebrities, Vignari spent time in jail and faced charges for her deplorable acts. Her daughter thankfully survived the ordeal.
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On a Lifeboat
As if the act of giving birth in and of itself wasn’t already wrought with enough physical trauma to kill a bull elephant (or dent Teddy Roosevelt), try doing so on top of dizzying seasickness. Fortunately, the ocean stayed calm and friendly when Junelle Wilson went into labor with her son Van. Living on the Isle of Mull meant that she needed to take a ferry to the nearest mainland hospital, as the only one available near home was apparently too small to handle her needs. Unfortunately, the ferry only runs during the daylight hours – and Van decided to make a nocturnal debut. Because of this, Wilson needed to charter a lifeboat…only to end up giving birth right there on the ride over! The thankfully sedate sea actually calmed her nerves, and mother and son both ended up safe in the end; though little Van needed the craft’s oxygen mask in order to facilitate breathing.
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On a Plane
Judging by the numerous stories that pop up during a quick Google search, babies deciding to pop out thousands of miles in the air seems understandably more common than people realize. One such incident took place on a flight between Chicago and Boise, where a pregnant woman lurched into labor with the nearest airport 90 miles away in Denver. The flight crew decided that an emergency landing was in order, but once again nature overrode human interaction and a baby boy emerged before they even began their descent. A doctor on board assisted with the delivery, applying his creativity to severing the umbilical cord using one of his own shoelaces! Mother and son – neither of whom were given a name in the story – both survived the experience healthy and safe.
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On the Sidewalk
Giving birth on a sidewalk certainly carries with it a veritable laundry list of health and safety hazards, but families are often powerless to prevent where and when their newest addition decides to appear on the scene. One such incident occurred in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, where Tiffany Kohls and her son Kellen just could not agree on where in the hospital he wanted to get born. At the hospital, Kohls’s mother ran in to alert the staff of an incoming patient. By the time she made it back outside, her daughter had begun the birthing process right there on the pavement. With the assistance of a nurse and a pair of security guards, Kellen entered into the world safely and without incident. Any incident beyond being born on the sidewalk, of course.
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At the Post Office
Obvious jokes about “special deliveries” aside, the post office remains not the most ideal place to give birth in the First World. It plays host to numerous physical and sanitation issues that render it unsuitable to take the place of a hospital. Being that she previously spent the past 9 months literally in the dark, Dulce Nascimento did not realize this when she sent her mother Sonia Marina into labor. Visiting the Cambridgeshire post office to purchase cell phone credits, the woman received an unexpected shock when she ended up giving birth to a baby daughter before an emergency vehicle made the scene. Everything thankfully went smoothly, and the staff members even place the infant on the scales to register her weight and how much it would cost to ship her elsewhere.
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On Fifth Avenue
En route to the hospital after suffering from labor pains at only 33 weeks, Elizabeth Brew gave birth to twins right in the middle of New York’s famed Fifth Avenue. So painful and dire was the process, the staff of Mount Sinai Medical Center had to rush outside and deliver the two tiny babies right there with Brew’s legs splayed out in front of Central Park. 2 lanes of traffic had to be blocked in order to make room for the doctors, nurses and equipment needed to ensure the safest, healthiest births possible within the confines of an SUV. Though premature, the twins – 1 female, 1 male – survived after a stint in a neonatal intensive care unit.
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On a Subway Platform
Being born in the grimy subway platforms of New York is perhaps only a cut or 2 above a sewer pipe, only without the somewhat cool parallels with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Brooklynite Francine Alfontent and her husband Max were taking Train F to the nearest hospital after the former began experiencing the early pangs of labor when daughter Soleil ended up popping out much sooner than anticipated. Accompanied by over a dozen concerned riders, the pair had to slip out onto a Manhattan subway platform for delivery. Strangers worked in tandem to assist the pair in every step of the process, many of them coming in on later trains. Among them, thankfully, lurked a nurse who valiantly kept the scene as calm and professional as a woman giving birth on a subway platform can get! All 3 Alfontents survived the experience entirely unscathed and uncompromised, now in possession of an entertaining and heartwarming story of teamwork to tell later on in life!
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On the Front Lawn
An unidentified woman from St Catherines, Ontario, Canada never even made it past the front lawn of a house when it came time to birth her infant son. 2 concerned passerbies happened upon the woman’s exceedingly painful plight, which ended abruptly as she apparently attempted to walk from her apartment to the nearest hospital before her water broke and her son began using the birth canal as a Slip ‘N Slide. Paramedics rushed to the scene and delivered the baby boy quickly and without any further incident, though many neighbors and pedestrians stopped to witness the drama unfolding before them.
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On a Train
Giving birth on public transportation is incredibly common, regardless of whether or not the mother in question originally intended to set off for the hospital. After visiting Peru’s breathtaking Machu Picchu, Yessica Huaman Sullo went into labor with son Armando Rail on the train ride home. She panicked with the thought of no doctors aboard, but 2 touring physicians happened to jump to her rescue and bring the healthy young man into the world. According to at least 1 witness, the train had to stop itself about 5 minutes away from its destination to ensure that Sullo’s emergency medical needs had been properly met.
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On the Toilet
Though not nearly as uncomfortable as giving birth on a port-a-potty, numerous women have actually given birth on the toilet after mistaking labor pains for a particularly cramping desire to pee. One particularly deplorable incident involved a Kansas City McDonald’s worker who birthed a baby son in a similar incident – and immediately tried to flush him down the drain! She was allegedly unaware of the pregnancy to begin with and panicked when the infant came piddling out instead of urine. A claim not wholly unbelievable, considering how the woman was stupid and heartless enough to try and flush her own child in the first place. Fortunately, the new baby survived the experience and hopefully ended up in a loving home that actually cared for his well-being.
These impatient little tykes could not wait to see everything the world had to offer them, although a few unfortunately ended up with sociopathic mothers that hopefully had no hold on them shortly after snapping. Regardless of how they ended up, though, they all share in starting their lives out in the most unorthodox of locations – sometimes funny, sometimes scary, sometimes heartbreaking. But always an interesting read.
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